According to Sky News:

Elon Musk has branded a famed astronaut an "idiot" after he hit back at the SpaceX CEO's claims that two NASA astronauts had been left in space "for political reasons".

According to Musk:

"I OFFERED THIS DIRECTLY to the Biden administration and they refused. Return WAS pushed back for political reasons. Idiot."

But FNN has learned that the two astronauts marooned on the ISS don't want to come back as it's clear that everything on earth is such a mess that they would be better to wait in space for a while.

The elusive Norwegian leader of the Davos-based Mysterons, Olaf Hurtigruten, told FNN:

We have offered both astronauts a one-way passage to Mars so they can experience the delights of our red planet for themselves.

Whoooohahahahaha!

He then turned an artichoke into a bar of chocolate using his powers of matter transformation.