While many fear that the Ukraine war may lead to nuclear Armageddon (or Ragnarok if you are Norwegian), FNN can reveal that we were recently far closer to catastrophe.

A leak sent to FNN, and thought to come from the White House cleaning department, claims that President Biden recently lost the crucial key needed to authorize the launching of hundreds of ballistic missiles aimed at China, Russia and the Trump mansion at Mar-a-Lago.

Disaster was only averted when the President's wife, Dr. Jill Biden (she has a PhD in Laptop Recovery), found the President trying to start the presidential Lincoln with the very same key and getting a little fractious - mainly because the Lincoln has a push-start button.

The key has now been put in one of those 'Break Glass in Emergency' cabinets in the Oval office to prevent the same thing happening again.

Thank goodness for Dr. Jill otherwise we would all be toast.