Passengers on a recent Jet2 flight from Larnaca (Cyprus) to Manchester (England) were just tucking into their bag of peanuts after take-off when a naked meerkat ran up the aisle and smashed down the cockpit door shouting: I need a Nero!

Apparently the meerkat was desperate for a coffee and not willing to pay £3.50 for a cup from the onboard menu. The meerkat, named Sergei, was restrained by a keeper from Whipsnade Zoo. A large opera singer from Wales also offered to lay on top of Sergei to keep him quiet but his offer was rejected as he kept on singing 'Go Compare' at the top of his voice.

Not only that, but soon after this incident, a group of drunken Scottish ladies who had been to Ayia Napa on a hen do tried to rush the cockpit in their scants shouting "I know. I know it's a flight, but it's our tits that make us women".

Passengers later confirmed that the ladies had all been spotted applying blue makeup and 'Jager-Bombing' in the terminal before boarding.

One of the flight crew told FNN:

Believe me. I needed a Nero after that lot. I think the Scots ladies were misquoting from the movie Braveheart.

Our coffee is not that bad but we did run out of bacon rolls so maybe that's what triggered all this mayhem.

Rab C Nesbitt commented:

Awa wi youse sassenach bastards. All this nonsense is messin' wi ma heed!