As the Meghan Enterprises and Harry (MEH) saga continues with the first reviews of Harry's book Spare, a major TV channel is rumoured to have commissioned the return of the popular comedic Carry On... series with a new royal offering: Carry on Sussex.

Carry on Sussex follows a similar plot to the famous Carry On Up the Khyber (1968) with King Charles starring as the Resident, Sir Charles Wind-Turbine, and his Queen Camilla as Mrs Wind-Turbine, who is very fond of tiffin.

Harry stars as Captain Spare, an officer in the feared Burpas regiment aka The 3rd Foot in Mouth.

Harry is showing 'dashed bad form' by breaking with tradition and wanting to marry a native girl, Princess Deli-Beli (Meghan), who is the daughter of a local potentate (The Mumbai of Montecito) who needs the money and prestige that an alliance with the British will bring in her native California.

As a Burpa, Harry has seen action in the Khyber hills and claims 25 tribesman 'kills'. But who cares, after, all they're only 'towel-heads' who can only cower when faced with a British stiff upper-lip trained on the playing fields of Eton. That, and a wing-mounted Gatling gun.

The movie has its own specially commissioned intro track based on Paul Hardcastle's 1985 Vietnam anti-war hit 19.

FNN gained exclusive access to some of the lyrics of the new single - called 25 - that features an intriguing chessboard cover:

T-T-T-T Twenty Five
They are all dead and I am alive
None of them received
A hero's welcome
I really wasn't sure what was going on
I'm still a little lost

Former Australian Special Forces trooper Bill "Battler" Heslop commented:

25...that's nothing...I threw more than that off a cliff after we rounded up a load of guests from a nearby wedding and ordered them all to sing Waltzing Matilda. The ones who didn't know the lyrics got the push. Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinnie. I'm parched.