Today, Britain attempted to return the Elgin marbles, originally 'purloined' by Lord Elgin on a sightseeing trip to Greece.

However, the marbles were refused as the delivery man did not have a valid vaccination certificate that the museum security staff could accept. Vaccination checking is very strict in Greece where pensioners can have their benefits stopped if they refuse to be vaccinated and it is impossible to eat in a restaurant without a smartphone to display your QR codes and to download a menu.

The marbles will now be retuned to the UK by Parcel Force so there is no guarantee they will ever see the light of day again as they were sent via the lowest cost postage option that does not include a tracking number or insurance for any loss.