Salisbury, Wiltshire became the first centre in the UK for delivering vaccinations against Novichok.

The Novichok virus recently ravaged the ancient religious city so it is only right and fitting that it should become the first Novichok vaccination centre in the UK.

Two Russian FSB Colonels were on hand to help supervise the vaccination process, which took place while the cathedral organ - played by David Helfgott on loan from the Australian Symphony Orchestra - played a medley of Russian favorites including the 1812 overture and the fiendishly difficult Rachmaninov piano concerto number 3.

“We are proud to be playing our part in the life-saving vaccination programme, which offers real hope in these difficult times,” the Very Rev. Nicholas Papadopulos, Dean of Salisbury, told FNN. 

“We assure them of our constant prayer,” he added.

Although we thought he was currently being detained in Russia for breaking his probation, we think we spotted Mr Navalny waiting patiently in line for the vaccine.