FNN has learned that there has been a suggestion online that children need to be 'prepared' for access to hardcore pornography by gaining supervised access to softcore pornography as a 'pathway' to the kind of porn that is already one click away on everyone's phone.

It is not clear yet whether the preparatory porn would become part of the school sex education curriculum or a service provided by the NHS as a new 'Preparatory Porn Pathway'. Either way it would mean that children would be introduced to 'safer' porn earlier in their lives in order to better handle potentially 'unsafe' porn later.

An anonymous spokesperson in support of this idea told FNN:

We think that preparatory porn is a useful way to prepare children for the potential abuse they may suffer at the hands of certain priests, depraved staff at special residential schools or their neighbourhood peadophile. For example, it could be one way to reduce the short-term mental health impact of sexual abuse by getting kids used to the idea of abuse from an early age, now that sexual abuse seems to be an integral part of growing up these days.

Bill 'Battler' Heslop commented:

Why can't kids just learn about sex by self-discovery behind the bike shed? Why do they need to be fed porn by anyone in order to make it a lifetime habit? The world has gone f**king mad. It's the primrose path to the everlasting bonfire!

Hey Muriel. Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched!