Support groups that used to be poorly attended and survive on shoestring funding are reporting that due to COVID they are now packed out and earning a fortune.

A selection of these groups includes:

• Men with Tits - for men who have been sitting around all day posting tweets and commenting on Facebook
• The Gout Group - for those who have been imbibing rather too frequently recently and now are unable to walk
• Cameltoe Concern- for women who have been wearing the same thong and leggings for days on end while pigging out on the sofa

We asked support group regular and international soap salesman, Tyler Durden for his opinion:

Eventually it will all end in violence as both men and women realise that COVID restrictions have disenfranchised their lives, making them empty and meaningless. Do you know why they give you oxygen when a plane is about to crash? To create a sense of euphoria. Think on't.

His girlfriend, Marla Singer, blew out a smoke ring and added:

In these challenging times, I recommend having a relationship with a schizophrenic to experience an alternate universe and add an extra dimension to your life.