The UK has struck a deal with the Ukraine that means it will provide support within 24 hours if the UK is attacked by Russia - something that Putin has repeatedly threatened - or at least according to UK MSM he has.

Russian troops would have to get all the way across continental Europe to Calais and then do an amphibious landing across the channel to get here, which military planners say is quite possible given that Albanian refugees have already managed it en masse.

The new pact could not come at a better time since currently:

• The Army is under strength
• The Navy is unable to recruit enough personnel
• Most of Britain's coventional weapons arsenal and ammunition stock has already been shipped to the Ukraine

A MOD spokesperson told FNN:

Phew! That's a relief. Now we know we can fight back when Russia invades the UK, as it continually threatens to do, since we have so many resources that it covets - like our world famous bacon rolls and fish and chips.

And let's face it. Our forces have no experience of fighting peer armies like the Russians. Only of taking on tribesmen, towel-heads and motley other irregulars while we have complete air, weapons and SIGINT superiority over our adversaries, plus the backing of endless US printed money for our defense budget.

Talk about we have got the Maxim and they have not.

Now we can rely on battle-hardened Ukrainians to do the fighting for us, down to the last Ukrainian. Bonus!