According to The Daily Telegraph, a top British General says that the Army is too small and Government needs to ‘mobilise the nation’ in the event of conflict with Russia.
As is well-known, Russia has been threatening the UK with invasion ever since it was accused of poisoning the Skripals.
Apparently their plan is to do a blitzkreig-type dash straight over the entire continental Europe to the channel ports and then hire Albanian people smugglers to get the Russian Army across the channel in small boats. The RNLI has already commited to protect the crossing for humanitarian reasons.
It just might work and this is what worries the UK top brass.
In that event, the woefully undermanned British Army would need to recruit civilians to bolster its ranks and fight those devious Russians. But that won't be easy and so the MoD has been considering a range of incentives to encourage young men and women to sign up for military training, including:
- free Greggs bacon roll gift vouchers for males and lip-botox sessions for females
- training based in 5-star hotel resorts with a jacuzzi and all mod-cons
- each recruit to have their own sponsored influencer channels on Instagram, Onlyfans etc to post their training pics
- uniforms designed by Karl Lagerfeld and Stella McCartney with boots by Laboutin
- troops will be allowed to keep any battlefield trophies so they can sell them on eBay or Amazon when they are demobbed
- trans friendly trenches, troop transporters and ladies facilities with urinals
That should bump the numbers up.