Following protests by fans after Messi was left on the bench at an Inter Miami match in Hong Kong, FIFA has announced new regulations to respond to the demands of fans for more control over games.

A spokesperson explained:

Fans were understandably upset that star player Messi was left on the bench due to a hamstring injury.

So we are introducing new match technology that allows fans to vote for the starting team and to approve or veto substitutions from the bench.

That way the fans will have nothing to complain about and we will also squash the cult of the star-manager that seems to have taken over football (soccer) by allowing fans to make all the important match decisions.

Former Australian skinhead Bill "Bovver" Heslop told FNN:

I didn't go to matches to watch or to vote I went to give it some Oi!

Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinnie. I'm parched.