Hvaldimir, the Beluga whale claimed to be a Russian asset spying on Norway, has been killed and Norwegian animal rights groups claim the whale was shot to death by unknown assassins.

Pending an autopsy, the theories are:

• the Russians did it
• the USA and Norway did it
• a bunch of drunken Ukrainians on a yacht did it

But perhaps we will never know as who cares about a Beluga whale just like who cares who blew up the Nordstream pipelines?