The recent establishment of a trade union at Google, a first in the tech sector, is not the only thing that has the big five GAAFT (Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook & Twitter) tech giants worried.

Rumour has it that the first job that Vladimir Putin will take on after he retires as President of the Russian Federation is to bring the Silicon Valley Oligarchs to heel.

Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, Jeff Bezos and others have been put on notice that their days as billionaires running organizations that are more powerful than governments are numbered after the US Senate confirmed that Mr Putin may be hired to bring them into line following his runaway success interfering in US elections.

Mr Putin is acknowledged as the world's number one Oligarch-tamer, famed for getting immediate results from his round-table meetings in the Kremlin.

Invitees to these meetings are first presented with a special FSB welcome pack containing a flask of plutonium-flavored tea, a box of Novichocs and a one way ticket to Siberia. If they do not avail themselves of any of these options then Mr Putin makes them an offer they can't refuse.

He'll send them to America. 

Generally, after these meetings, Oligarchs start paying their back taxes to the state, sell their racehorses and emigrate to London, the money laundering capital of the world.

A spokesperson for Mr Zuckerberg threatened to demonetize Mr Putin's Facebook page and cancel his WhatsApp account while a Twitter spokesperson @#Oligarch said that they were unable to comment as what they had to say would not fit in 160 characters.

An Apple spokesperson made the universal sign of the donut, cackled like one of the Martians from Mars Attacks, and said the company was commited to the legitimate non-payment of taxes in whatever jurisdictions it operated.

Santino "Sonny" Corleone gave FNN this comment:

Let me tell you. Once Vladimir gets to grips with the heads of the five families...then Bada Bing! Their brains will be all over their Ivy-League drop-out birkenstocks. Hey Tessio. Who sent me this fish?