The BBC has announced that a number of classic childrens' shows are to be cancelled following uproar online over a recent Spongebob Squarepants episode.

Classic shows such as Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men, Andy Pandy and Sooty and Sweep are to be removed from the archive as they depict innappropriate values in today's modern Britain. 

A spokesperson for the BBC commented:

It's quite obvious that Bill and Ben are gay and as a result are compelled to remain in the closet by living in a flowerpot instead of a house like heterosexual people.

Andy Pandy is a trans-sexual character that is always being told to "go home", which is clearly problematic. Whereas "Sooty" is obviously a racist name for a character that literally has a white man's hand up his bottom.

It is quite monstrous that these shows are still available to warp our childrens' minds and prevent them from viewing porn on the Internet, spending hours playing first-person shooter games to rack up the body-count and from requesting gender transitioning.