News that the EU is funding a project to make motorcycling safer by pumping air into jeans promises many other useful applications:

The sewn-in air bags act as a cushion in the event of an accident but can also be re-purposed to: 

• put junk in your trunk
• put stack on your rack
• put girth round your gipper

FNN thinks there is much to be done in terms of injecting gases into various items to increase their usability.

For example, we have always wondered why bags, suitcases and umbrellas do not contain a helium layer to make them lighter so we could all zoom around airports and railway stations Mary Poppins style.

There are also lucrative military applications. With a helium insert, paratroopers would no longer have to worry about killing the guy beneath them with the heavy kitbags that dangle from their chutes as the helium layer would render the kitbags weightless. Geronimo!

EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen commented:

This project is a great example of how we spend the money paid to the EU by member countries. In this case to help make motorcycling safer for everyone who motorcyles in jeans.

Unfortunately we will not be able to extend this safety measure to the UK and to leave voters in particular as they voted for that car crash that is Brexit so they don't deserve to benefit from these innovative safety measures.