Ancestors of famous Saxon rebel Hereward the Wake, now farming in East Anglia, have called on the government to stop building offshore windfarms in the English channel as the noise from the turbines is disturbing their crops.

Saxons are an indigenous English people that were never entirely wiped out by Norman William the Conqueror's ethnic cleansing of England, especially his 'harrying of the North', after his successful invasion in 1066.

Swedish Lutheran Minister and climate change activist, Greta Thunderberg (now 20 years old), told FNN:

The Saxons are an indigenous people of England and a transition to green energy should not come at the expense of their rights.

I am certain that King Charles III of Britain would agree that plants also have rights but without a voice they are unable to convey their distress at the constant drone of wind turbines wafting in from the sea.

A spokesperson for the Federation of Anglian Rotary Turbines (FART) commented:

I'm surprised anyone, even a plant, can hear our turbines located way out in the channel. But any plant that can is welcome to log a complaint on our website. We take all complaints seriously, even from turnips.