In order to protect the NHS as it deals with the Covid pandemic, the UK government has decided to ban cancer treatment  - on a temporary basis - until the new Moronic variant is under control. This will reduce the enormous waiting lists for cancer treatment to zero at a stroke.

A government spokesperson told FNN:

Treating cancer has always been a thorn in the side of the NHS - sucking in valuable resources that could be better used for treating obesity, alcohol and drug addiction, and gender dysphoria.

This decision was always likely to be controversial given the misinformation campaign relating to the number of deaths from Covid vs. those from cancer. Everyone knows someone who has died from Covid but who knows anyone who has died from cancer?

Also, Covid requires lots of machines that go Ping! whereas cancer doesn't so it is clearly is not as important a disease.

Australian testicular cancer survivor Bill "Battler" Hislop commented:

WTF! I know at least half a dozen people personally who have died from cancer but not a single person who has truly died from Covid.

Although there was that guy whose bungee was too long, causing him to crash into the ground about a month after he tested positive for Covid so maybe I do know someone who died from Covid. Who can tell?

Hey Muriel. Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched!