Ireland is abuzz with the news that a blind prophet has emerged from the Political Desert to predict a united Ireland as a result of Brexit.

Led by his guide-guard dog "Prescott", the former home secretary suddenly appeared out of the desert to claim that Brexit would trigger the re-unification of Ireland due to the necessity for the Provinces to adhere to EU regulations to continue trading with the EU.

Tony "John the Baptist" Blair told FNN:

The country simply lost its head over Brexit. The whole thing gave me an almighty headache especially after the intervention of Theresa "Queen of Sheba" May.

Stormont will be reconvened on Good Friday 2021 to debate this new, compelling prophecy, with the help of international statesman Hunter "I'm Irish" Biden - when he finds his laptop that is.

EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen commented:

All we need now is to get Wales away from the Union by promising a new EU Rugby championship and reducing the tariffs on daffodils and England will be surrounded by the EU. Job Done. 

Then General von Nurburgring can put Operation Seelowen into effect from the Stella Lager near Calais.

Boris will regret messing with Oberkommando West. Vorsprung Durch Teknik!