A Dutchman, Gert "Goldmember" Yankowitz, has been banned from donating any more sperm after it emerged that he had fathered over 5.5 million children, when the maximum allowable under Dutch law is 25 children with 12 mothers.

This number of children makes it highly likely that they may interbreed without knowing it, leading to all kinds of genetic aberrations. It also means that his offspring could eventually populate a small country on their own.

Gert has told FNN that he is seeking therapy for his condition known as 'kopponanism' or OCM (Obsessive Cup Masturbation) and blames the fertility clinics for providing easy access to comfortable rooms offering free pornography on big screen TVs.

Luckily, Dutch law prevents sperm donors from being pursued for any kind of child support from surrogate mothers.

A spokesperson for the Dutch Association of Fertility Professionals (DARP) commented:

This should never happen again as all sperm donations are now coming from a new source that we have developed based on the ChatGPT AI that now responds to the prompt 'Creampie' with a perfectly generated sperm sample.

How it does it we have no idea. But then no-one really understands AI, even Elon Musk, so we are not too worried.