Following the admission by the Welsh Government that they expect no-one to take any notice of the new 20mph speed limit in built-up areas, new legislation is coming that will ensure that all cars used in Wales are limited to 20mph.

Cars from England crossing the Severn bridge will be turned back if they are not fitted with the new speed limiter currently on-sale in Halfords and Kwik-Fit for £879.50 (plus £135 installation cost).

A spokesperson from pressure group 20 is Plenty Where People Are explained:

The purpose of the new legislation is to make sure that any car can be overtaken by either cyclists, electric scooter riders or or people on pogo sticks to encourage drivers to abandon cars and switch to taking advantage of our excellent public transport options that run on locally mined coal or fuel distilled from a mixture of hydrogen and leeks.

We will also be installing much steeper and higher speed bumps to ensure that any car that hits them at over 20 will go airborne and break into pieces when landing. Surviving drivers will then be charged £2640 to clear up the mess left by their disabled vehicle.