Following a number of deaths on the so-called "smart" motorways being built in the UK, road tax payers are calling for the system to be scrapped.

For those of you not familiar with the UK's flagship smart motorways scheme, here are some of the benefits:

• Endless delays as the motorways are being upgraded
• Needless deaths in lanes re-assigned for traffic that were once reserved as "hard shoulders" for use in emergencies
• Even more tracking of who is travelling where via number plate recognition
• Distracting average speed monitoring all over the place
• A stealth structure for introducing tolls on previously free UK motorways

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:

Here in the EU we are fully behind smart motorways, which we will be using to track the movements of unwelcome Brexiteers from the UK so they can be targeted with speeding fines and stop and search operations to see if they have any ham sandwiches, marmite or pork pies from Britain. All of which are banned in the EU. Vorsprung Durch Teknik.