Quantitative Easing (QE) is the printing of money by central banks to improve money circulation.

Problem is that most of the money ends up in the hands of the banks, fintech giants and the elites that run them rather than ordinary people.

However, FNN is pleased to report that the Bank of Ireland is bucking this trend and giving money direct to the populace via ATMs.

A spokesperson explained:

Here in Ireland we believe that QE should benefit the people, so all our ATMS have been programmed to dispense free money - up to €1000 per day - to anyone with a valid debit card.

Be warned. The free money has resulted in long lines at ATMs and some are already empty after being 'protected' by the Garda.

Father Ted Crilly, a spokesperson for the Catholic Church of Craggy Island, commented:

Would you feckin' believe it! Free money and there's no Bank of Ireland ATM on Craggy Island!

So that's why Mrs Doyle left in a hurry yesterday and flew to the mainland saying something about needing a new teapot.