Elon Musk has announced that the first uncrewed missions to Mars will take place in 2026, with manned missions planned for 2 years later using the new SpaceX Starship (now available on Amazon!).

This news has infuriated the Mysterons.

The mysterious Norwegian leader of the Davos-based Mysterons, Olaf Hurtigruten, told FNN:

The SpaceX Starship will not be allowed to land on Mars, let alone any humans.

We have not completed our mission to reduce the population of Earth. We are certainly not going to allow the development of another human population on Mars.

No, you cowering earthlings! Musk will be barred from Mars! Whooooohahahahaha!

He then turned a pear into a pork pie using his powers of matter transformation.