2023 is the Chinese Year of the Scapegoat - a year that seems to be repeating itself regularly these days.
FNN has obtained leaked transcripts - claimed to be the Christmas messages of both King Charles of England and President Biden of the USA - that seem to confirm the appropriateness of the Chinese New Year designation.
Some topics covered by the first-ever Christmas message from King Charles include:
- Britain's Cold-War Christmas being a direct result of Russia's weaponization of energy in response to EU sanctions forcing many to use log burners to further pollute the atmosphere with unsustainable smoke from burnt carbon.
- Significant threats to the unity of the royal family being caused by Russian trolls on Netflix. This includes a multi-part disinformation series known as 'Carry On Sussex' starring two people who are obviously FSB agents living undercover in the USA but who have also been spotted on CCTV all over the UK.
- The brainwashing of Lady Susan Hussey by devious Russian sublimal techniques. This involves the repetition of 'ask where are you from' embedded randomly in her bedtime listening audiobooks accompanied by the music from The Ipcress File - making her into a modern-day 'Mancunian Candidate'.
Meanwhile President Biden has blamed former President Trump for:
- The immigration crisis on the southern borders because Trump failed to build his wall
- The homelessness crisis in democratically-controlled US cities because Trump failed to get more American jobs back from China
- The crisis in Ukraine because Trump failed to 'collude' with Putin to help avoid it
- The COVID pandemic because Trump failed to prevent the virus escaping from US-funded research at a Wuhan lab
- The exposure of Hunter Biden because Trump failed to return the incriminating 'Laptop from Hell' left in a computer repair shop
- The Tara Reade allegations because Trump failed to seduce her himself and stain her dress
Xi-whiz! Those Chinese certainly picked the right year for 2023!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from FNN...