Following the news that Roald Dahl's childrens books are to be published in two versions - the originals, with all the good stuff, and bowdlerized versions full of empty pages and 'sensitivity reader' amendments - now Ian Fleming's James Bond stories are to be subject to the same nonsense when a new edition is published.

The whole point of Bond is that he is a mysoginistic colonial and a ruthless killer. But that has not stopped the efforts to rename the famous Bond Movies. FNN has learned that:

• Dr. No may become Dr. Yes since saying 'no' can lead to mental health issues if you don't like to be told you can't do something
• Casino Royale may become Monaco Royale as the anti-gambling lobby do not want gambling so obviously glamorized
• Diamonds Are Forever may become Amber is Forever as diamonds are mined in South Africa
• Thunderball may become Thunderbits to prevent the encouragement of toxic masculinity (for which Bond is famous)

On-screen warnings will now proceed all Bond films to remind viewers that they are watching a work of fiction from a bygone era...IT IS NOT REAL. Phew! Thank goodness for that!

Sean Connery is not available for comment but FNN is sure that he would have had something to say that might not have survived editing by a sensitivity reader.