Directed Energy Weapons (DEWs) promise to revolutionize the battlefield by doing away with the need for ammunition, in favor of laser weapons powered by electricity.

In order to gain an advantage over its geostrategic rivals, the USA has secretely enlisted the help of the Mysterons.

The leader of the Davos-based Mysterons, aka 'The Hood', told FNN:

As you know, we are leaders in anti-matter technology.

So we are assisting the US Defense industry with their attempts to perfect DEW to combat Russian and Chinese aggression on their borders.

So far we have managed to create working anti-matter DEWs that turn everything they are directed at into pork pies.

Whoohahahahaha!

In other news, Abrams battle tanks are to be retrofitted with bicycles over the rear vents. The bicycles will be use an extra crew member from the newly established US Cycle Corps to generate the electricity needed to operate the DEWs on the battlefield.