The new Scottish hate crime act is expected to be weaponised by trans rights activists to criminalise women such as J K Rowling who has already been warned to start deleting her past tweets, something she has clearly stated that she will not do.

Police Scotland have said that the people most likely to commit hate crimes include:

• white working class men
• those with adverse childhood experiences
• substance abusers
• the underemployed
• men who say 'Ah smell nookie'
• Scots women out to get rubbered on a Saturday night

This is likely to comprise a significant proportion of the urban and highland Scottish population - so good luck with that and start extending the Big Hoose (Barlinnie jail).

Scottish hate crime specialist Rab C Nesbitt told FNN:

All this hate crime malarky is messin wi' ma heed! Anyone for a bevy?