FNN has learned that UK PM Sir Keir Starmer is rumoured to be considering a new, radical peacekeeping plan for the Ukraine:

Conscript illegal immigrants!

Having failed to ship illegal immigrants to St Helena or Rwanda or the Dickensian hulk off Weymouth, the UK is taking a leaf out of Trump's book and examining radical options for conscripting illegal immigrants to use as peacekeepers in Ukraine.

A spokesperson explained:

It costs the UK taxpayer a fortune to feed and house illegal immigrants while they wait months in the UK for their cases to be reviewed by the courts.

Now instead of twiddling their thumbs in a Holiday Inn, it would be more cost effective to use them as our peacekeeping force in the Ukraine.

This way we don't need conscription, no UK troops would be killed, and Travelodges, Holiday Inns and disused Army camps all over the UK will be freed up for use by the regular travelling public.

The idea is that when boats are welcomed to the beaches of Britain from France, all male occupants under the age of 25 will be offered a lucrative contract to become a peacekeeper in Ukraine.

Anyone subsequently found to have a criminal record or terrorist connections will also be given a bonus 'gratuity' payment to keep them out of the UK.

Once the peace is settled, the UK peacekeepers will be eligible for permanent residency in Ukraine's Chernobyl district where they can take advantage of thousands of reconstruction jobs with US companies.

Those who accept will be given 6 weeks basic training on Salisbury Plain by elite ex-Wagner specialists hired by the British Army and then shipped to Ukraine.

So we kill two birds with one stone. Bonus!