Following the online scandal over Lady Susan Hussey asking someone where they came from, it has been announced that the phrase 'How Do You Do' is also banned as this previously innocuous greeting is now classed as 'hate speech'.

A spokesperson for the Woke Association of Cantankerous Krackpot Overlords (WACKOs) told FNN:

Asking someone 'How Do You Do' is an unacceptable micro-aggression since the implication is that you do nothing, are on benefits and probably an alcoholic, drug-dealing gang member.

So as you can see, the simple phrase 'How Do You Do' is freighted with negative meaning that can cause mental distress to the person being asked this horrific question. Especially when the person asking is old and white and the person asked isn't.

The new politically correct way to introduce yourself to anyone is to say 'Splidget' - a word that carries no negative mysoginist, anti-semitic, racist or colonial connotations or meaning. Today, very few people know what 'Splidget' means but that will soon change once the mainstream media gets behind it.

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:

I always say 'Splidget' when I meet someone new or actually the German version 'Versankenblitzenwurst'. However, I seldom meet anyone new these days as no-one wants to meet me for fear of being upset by something I said. Vorpsrung durch Teknik!