A recent study in Scotland has concluded that food particles can be found in the blood of the umbilical cord proving that the consumption of certain foods is polluting pregnant women.
The particles in question originate from:
- scots pies
- macaroon bars
- chocolate teacakes
In some cases the placental blood is an orange colour, reflecting a high Irn-Bru content, or has an alchohol content consistent with regular consumption of Tennants lager in large quantities by the mother.
A professor from the University of Aberdeen, told FNN:
We all worried that if popular food nanoparticles and alchohol were getting into the foetus, then they might be directly affecting the dietary preferences of the baby.
Govan dietary expert, Rab C Nesbitt, commented:
All this academic nonsense is messin' wi' ma' heed!