FNN has just learned that the French fishing fleet has been destroyed off the coast of Spain at an obscure location known as "Trafalgar".

Leader of the Grimsby section of the British fishing fleet, Horatio "Halibut" Nelson, explained:

After the French fleet turned up off the Dogger Bight we set sail and chased them across the Atlantic to the Newfoundland banks where we lost them in the fog.

However, they were spotted in the Doldrums on their way back by Sir Ben Ainslie who was crossing the Atlantic in his Laser dinghy at the time.

We finally caught up with the Frogs at Trafalgar where we destroyed them. They will never again threaten our precious Dungeness oyster beds.

Unfortunately, Halibut died of his injuries in the fierce battle after he was skewered in the eye by a French langoustine flung from the rigging of a trawler.

In his honour, the citizens of Grimsby have subscribed to raise a column to Halibut in the town shopping centre next to the Poundstretcher store.

But this initiative is opposed by local activists who point out that fishermen were responsible for supplying the fish that fed the sailors that manned the ships that transported the slaves that worked on the plantations in America and are demanding the subscriptions as reparations to be paid to crack dealers in Compton, a leafy suburb of Los Angeles, CA.

EU spokesperson, Ursula von Richthofen warned the UK:

The days of the English fishing fleet are numbered. We have ordered the Bismarck and the Tirpitz to be raised from the bottom of the sea and begin North Sea patrols. Vorsprung Durch Teknik!