The incoming Biden administration has announced that the infamous Guantanamo Bay prison is to be sold to a leading entertainment company and renamed the Guantanamo Bay Resort.
A new G W Bush airport will be built nearby, ready to receive regular Rendition Airways flights from all over the world.
Rumour has it that a Nobel Peace prize winner will be paid $5 million to open the new resort, thereby "becoming" the highest paid person in the world to cut a ribbon with a pair of scissors.
The resort centerpiece will be the spacious WMD Pavilion where families can enjoy searching for weapons of mass destruction (WMDs) amid the ruins of a middle eastern city.
In exchange for a donation to the Spare Change Foundation, everyone who enters the pavilion will be given a free Podcast of Colin Powell's WMD speech to the UN, a miniature statue of Saddam Hussain and a framed copy of Dr. David Kelly's death certificate.
The current inmates will all be pardoned and pensioned off with jobs as visitor guides at the Resort, which will offer every guest:
- a free orange jumpsuit and hoody on arrival
- training in the new Cuban dance craze, the Guantanamo Shuffle
- free access to the Waterboard Park and a lesson in skiffle music
- full-board, fine dining supplied by Burger King, KFC, McDonalds and of course, Starbucks
An entertainment company spokesman wearing a Mickey Mouse hat confirmed that the following global celebrities - Julian Assange, Edward Snowdon, the Supreme Leader of Iran and the commander of the Taliban will be "comped" at the new resort, which will also feature a spectacular new floor show choreographed by Chelsea Manning and compered by Seth McFarlane, the Family Guy.
Before tucking in to a piece of his yummy birthday cake, old Cuba-hand and entrepreneur Hyman Roth told FNN :
When I heard about the invasion of Iraq, I wasn't angry; I knew George and Tony, I knew they were head-strong, talking loud, saying stupid things. But this is the business we've chosen.
Michael Corleone added:
Listen FNN. We are all part of the same hypocrisy. But I don't want any of them touched while my mother is alive.
Dick Cheney accidently shot our reporter before we could interview him.