In a shock announcement, Hogwarts Governing body announced that their founder, best-selling author J K Rowling, has been removed from the Governing body for her odious views about her characters sexuality.

Apparently JKR believes that her characters conform to male and female stereotypes and do not include the various "shape-shifters" that also populate her world of magic and mystery.

She also takes the view that "only women bleed", which of course is nonsense in today's world where free tampons are available to all.

One of JKR's most lovable characters, Harry Potter himself, told us:

Who does this bitch thinks she is? She invents a whole world of magic and mystery beloved by children over the world and then foists her hateful male/female binaryism on us all. I wish there was a spell I could use to get rid of her. Thank God I banked all the money from the incredibly profitable and popular movies made from her bestselling books before this scandal broke.

A spokesperson from the University of Dumbledore told FNN:

Regretfully we must remove the MA in Potter Studies from our curriculum as suddenly it's no longer fashionable to like anything by J K Rowling since she became identity-challenged.

Ron and the other "female" one were too distressed to comment.