President Macron has managed to suppress the French rioters by threatening to call in the Wagner Group to manage the situation.

A spokesperson for the President told FNN:

The Wagner Group are not so busy at the moment so we think they will be ideal to control the situation here in France.

They come highly recommended by President Assad of Syria and various African potentates.

We have ignored a recent one-star review of the Wagner Group on Trustpilot, posted by someone called "Vladimir Putin".

We also like the way they go into battle with the 'March of the Valkyries' blaring from their helicopter gunships. A nice nod to European culture and EU values.

We tried to get Antifa but they all insisted on being flown first class from the USA and the budget just doesn't run to that.

However, now that all the luxury goods stores have been looted there is less interest in rioting so it may all just die down anyway.