Following the forced departure of Kathleen Stock from Sussex University, the UK's University Diversity Council has announced more universities will 'let-go' others whose thinking is problematic:

• A Mr Isaac Newton will no longer be able to promote his theories of gravity as they are problematic for fat people
  
  
• A Mr Charles Darwin will no longer be able to promote his theories about the evolution of the species as it clearly discriminates against those species that became extinct
  
  
• A Mr Albert Einstein will no longer be able to promote his bizarre theory that E=Mc squared as it is not diverse enough and uses the wrong pronouns since both energy and mass clearly represent transient identities

Even being a smart lesbian did not protect Ms Stock from woke wrath over arguments made in her book Material Girls that there are such things as biological men and women.

A spokesperson for the social change activists Stonebaked told FNN:

We really can't have a University system that promotes and encourages freedom of speech and thought otherwise where would that lead us? Anyway all the above are dead white men so they don't count.