The Governor of Massachusetts has announced a new funding scheme for migrants in the state.

The funding will be exclusively for training in 'wall-building' and a new training center will be established near Martha's Vineyard where the first practice walls will be built to surround the sleepy seaside community.

A spokesperson for the Governor denied that this funding was in response to a migrant housing crisis in the state:

Wall-building is a perfectly reputable occupation that will give migrants transferable skills they can use in other states such as Texas.

In any case there is no housing crisis in our state.

We have taken advice from the UK and moored a hotel barge off Plymouth Rock to house our migrants in cruise-ship comfort.

The barge - aka Bibby Biden - will be managed by Quakers and is sponsored by the Mork and Mindy Mates Foundation who are offering free experimental Monkeypox vaccines to everyone on board.