FNN has learned that the UK's Wiltshire police were tipped off about an organized rave taking place at - of all places - Salisbury cathedral - home of the Salisbury Steak.

When the police arrived they found crowds of 80-something pensioners waiting for their COVID vaccinations, some of whom were dancing in the aisles between the pews, while others were snogging behind the cathedral's stone columns or playing darts with Pfizer jabs in the vestry.

We spoke to the church organist, 104 year-old Edward Heath, who was just back from sailing around the Isle of Wight in his boat Maggie T - he told us:

When I finished playing the Brahms Requiem there was a request for Bill Haley's Rock Around the Clock. Then as soon as I started playing it, all hell broke loose. 

One of the dancing grannies broke off from her Lindy-Hop to tell us:

My fanny hasn't seen this much action since I was in a bus shelter with a Yank in world war two!

Unfortunately I had to stop dancing as my tits were going everywhere.

A police spokesperson explained:

We received an anonymous tipoff of a rave in the cathedral, and as we had nothing better to do, we turned up in force to find total mayhem.

There were Seniors everywhere dropping aspirins and statins and we had to fine the lot of them for possession of senior citizen bus passes in contravention of COVID travel restrictions and for inadequate social distancing while they were snogging and twisting to Bill Haley.

Unfortunately we then learned that this tip-off was in fact a hoax and the real rave was going on at Stonehenge where the site was destroyed by Druids who removed all the stones and piled them onto the A303, blocking the main highway to the West country.

Well. We can't be everywhere at once can we?