Ahead of the Paris Olympics, the Olympic committee has banned certain athletes from competing and is only accepting a few of them under a neutral flag.

A spokesperson explained:

We have reviewed the position of many athletes who want to compete and find they do not meet our new Olympic values such as:

• raised testosterone levels for the female athletes
• rape convictions for the male athletes

We miss those testosterone-enhanced East German sportswomen of the past, don't you?

And today everyone knows rape - like identity - is a relative concept, so there's no reason why you can't be an Olympic role model just because you've been convicted of rape.

After all, Jimmy Savile managed it, right?

Let's face it. The Olympics has moved on from the old simplistic binary concepts of good and bad, men and women, fair play and cheating.