FNN can reveal that the so-called 'Chinese' weather balloons were actually sent by: The Mysterons!

The deep-voiced Martians cunningly equipped the balloons with Chinese branded technology to lay the blame elsewhere but FNN - and Elon Musk - know this was false.

As Mr Musk tweeted:

Don’t worry, just some of my ‘alien’ friends stopping by.

Which is strange as the Mysterons are no friends of Mr Musk and his aim to colonize Mars - or are they?

A holographic spokesperson for the Mysterons talked to us from their terrestrial headquarters in Davos, Switzerland. After a demonstration of retro-metabolism - turning a Cornish Pasty into a Dorset Knob - the hologram told FNN:

Earthmen...we are peaceful beings. And you have tried to destroy us. But you cannot succeed. You and your people will pay for this act of aggression. This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us, Earthmen. Our retaliation will be slow, but nonetheless effective. It will mean the ultimate destruction of life on Earth. It will be useless for you to resist, for we have discovered the secret of reversing matter, as you have just witnessed.