The HMS Prince of Wales will now no longer go on mission to North America following the loss of a propellor. Instead it will join cruise ships MS Ambition and MS Victoria and dock in Scotland to act as a floating hotel for refugees. Some refugee activists have already demanded that the more spartan naval accommodation onboard is inferior to that of the existing cruise ships so a bonus needs to be paid to those housed on the aircraft carrier.

A spokesperson for Son-Gat People Trafficking Ltd. told FNN:

Our clients deserve better than being accommodated on a military aircraft carrier. Even if it is the most modern in the Royal Navy and cost £3bn to build. Would you want to sleep in an aircraft hangar rather than a cabin with a balcony? I don't think so. 

A spokesperson for the Senior Service commented:

Everyone accommodated on HMS Prince of Wales will be entitled to wear Naval uniforms and sing sea shanties so we think this add to the prestige of refugees staying onboard and result in some memorable selfies and tik-tok videos to send home. Bonus!

Scotsman Rab C Nesbitt was scathing:

Naeone offered me or anyone else from Govan a bunk on the Wales. This whole nonsense is messin' wi' ma' heed!