With a retail price of over £700, Dyson's new Zone headphones are the first headphones to include a vacuum cleaner.

A Dyson spokesperson explained:

Dyson always wants to push the envelope when it comes to cleaning technology so we have released a combined headphone and vacuum cleaning product.

The headphone cups, as well as being state of the art music players, also contain miniature versions of our patented 'cyclone' technology. The centre of the headband includes a socket to click in a handle so the cups can then be used as a pair of powerful suckers.

A hidden feature is the 'poo-bag' dispenser built in to each cup for when your pooch does something that can't be hoovered up. Internally we call this feature the 'poo-fairy'.

Zone phones are ideal for use in the 'car-zone', to clean up the debris from a Greggs bacon roll on your car seat while you are driving with your headphones on listening to Led Zeppelin.

The next releases of our Zone headphones are expected to enable their use in other 'zones' including to double up as a desk fan and as a hair dryer for users who wash their hair while wearing our headphones in the shower. Naturally, Zone headphones are waterproof so you can also use them while swimming.

We are also investigating using our latest 'dust laser' technology as a means to zap CCTV cameras to prevent you being identified when wearing our headphones. The first in a new range of personal privacy protection (PPP) devices.

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen commented:

What can you say? You have to hand it to Dyson. Vorsprung durch Teknik!