Looks like Hamas have rejected Tony Blair as the new Viceroy of Gaza to prevent the territory becoming the Middle East's equivalent of The Jewel in the Crown.

The lavish Durbah planned for the re-invention of Gaza as a US-run theme park is unlikely to happen although FNN would still not rule out a topee-wearing Trump arriving in splendour on an elephant to receive local dignatories to bow to his Nobel-laureate peace credentials.

Netflix is rumoured to be thinking of resurrecting the Granada TV classic as a Meghan and Harry Enterprises (MEH) production starring Prince Andrew as the not-quite kosher Captain Merrick and Fergie as a not-so-shy Daphne Manners who meets her dusky Arabian Prince Hari in the bibighar for a bit of midnight toe-sucking.