The Austrian defence minister has blamed obesity for a fall in recruiting numbers, as Austrian youth rejects hiking and mountain climbing in favor of fast food and beer.
The Austrian government is mulling over introducing compulsory 'fat-camps' to prepare recruits for life in the services.
Many fatties simply can't fit into modern fighter plane cockpits or the cramped fighting conditions inside tanks.
A feature of fat camps will be:
- Kaffee und kuchen. Nein!
- Sacher torte. Nein!
- Bratwurst mit curry sauce. Nein!
FNN has learned that Austrian luminaries such as Arnold Schwartzenegger and Reinhold Messner are in discussions about leading the first fat camps to help attract Austrian fatties to lose weight before starting their military training.
An offer by Tyler Durden to turn them all into soap has been rejected.