The untimely death of footballer Ronaldo Messi, affectionately known as "Chopper", has triggered an outpouring of grief around the world. Chopper was one the game's most famous players, in the now unpopular position of sweeper. 

Despite operating behind the back line, Chopper still managed to score many memorable goals including the "Knob from God" goal that put England out of a world cup, when Chopper used his knob to guide a stray ball into the net.

Born in the Gorbals, Chopper's presumed Dad was a Portugese cork farmer from Porto, his uncle was a Glaswegian prison guard from Barlinnie and his mother was an Argentinian gaucho from the Pampas working as a riding instructor at the same prison. His paternity was never clear but his favorite phrase was "See you Jimmy" as he headbutted famous strikers from around the world.

Chopper was not interested in playing for the big league clubs like Barcelona or Juventus, instead he played most of his career at Preston North End earning the astronomical salary of £5 a week plus a free fish and chip supper after every match that he shared with Alf Tupper, the famous sprinter immortalized in the Victor comic.

Chopper was a quiet man, liking nothing better than a packet of fags, a wee dram an' some mince and tatties while watching horse racing on the telly of a Saturday afternoon when he was supposed to be playing.

He was also known locally as a philanthropist, regularly buying a copy of The Big Issue from that weird looking bloke outside Morrisons.  

Chopper was not without his faults, as he himself admitted:

I spent most of my money on Tizer, sweeties and hookers. The rest I wasted.

Chopper had many celebrity friends in sport and showbusiness, Sir Gary Lineker told us:

I once worked with Chopper on an advert for alcohol flavored crisps - Malt and Vinegar I think - he was the salt of the earth. I offered him a job on Match of the Day but he refused with a typical Chopper response: I wouldna be seen dead talking bollocks on the telly with a load of tossers. He was a real charmer.