Along with the EU, the UK is rumoured to be about to make a major defence policy change.

A MoD spokesperson told FNN:

Now that the US has recognised that the UK is a tier-3 fighting force, it is time for a major defence policy change.

Following President Zelensky's recent visit and the apparent success of the Ukrainians on the battlefield against the invading Russian forces, we have decided to hand over all our land and air weaponry to the Ukrainians to protect us from further Russian aggression against the UK.

As you know, the major threat to the UK is Russian agression and not rampant and unchecked immigration, the flight of money and investment after Brexit, the impending collapse of the NHS and widespread stirkes across all industries. No. The real threat is Vladimir Putin, who is probably the puppetmaster behind all this chaos in the UK anyway.

I want to reassure you that we will maintain the Senior Service, our world-class Royal Navy (1 aircraft carrier, 1 minesweeper, 1 submarine), as these assets are need in our continuing efforts to help ensure the safety of a constant stream of Albanian and other criminals who are crossing the channel by boat and disappearing into the UK underworld.

The only service not impacted by this cut will be the MoD itself, which in fact is going to need to expand to manage the new and vital 'remote' relationship with the Ukrainian military. A new Zelensky Barracks will be established near Salisbury Plain to house the Ukrainian forces being trained by the only Army regiment to remain in service, the newly established Azov Training Battalion.

Oh and this will mean a massive cut in military budgets to free up money to be spent on upgrading asylum accommodation centers and furthering the vital gender-change agenda in England, Scotland and Wales.