Following the restrictions on fishing in UK waters as a result of the Brexit deal, Iceland has declared a Second Cod-War on the UK.

A spokesperson for Icelandic Prime Minister Groapair Halibutssdottir told FNN:

Now that we are no longer allies and since Iceland won the First Cod-War, we will be resuming the Second Cod-War in British waters. We also know that the whole of the Royal Navy is in dry-dock being repaired so British trawlers will be defenceless.

In case Britain dares to resist our incursions into their territorrial waters, we are building giant south-facing fans over every volcano in Iceland so that when they explode the ashes can be blown all over the North of England. Those leave voters will be so sorry!

A spokesperson for the Ministry of Defence (MOD) commented:

Protecting our fishermen is exactly the role we envisaged for our latest aircraft carrier - HMS Ridiculous - which is currently in dry dock being repaired since a design fault means it does not float.

EU spokesperson Ursula von Richthofen told FNN:

Since the French fishing fleet was destroyed at Trafalgar, we are glad to see the plucky Icelanders taking on the might of the British Royal Navy once again.

Just wait until we have raised the Bismarck and the Tirpitz from the bottom of the Atlantic... then we'll see a real Cod War. Vorsprung Durch Teknik!