The trustees of The British Museum have announced a name change to The Empty Museum.

The name change reflects the fact that the museum is now empty having had everything removed that reflects the sexist, classist, racist and colonial past of Britain.

As a result, Britain has finally lost its Elgin marbles back to Greece. The lost marbles are now safely deposited in the vaults of Deutsche Bank to help pay for the Greek bailout by the EU.

The Empty Museum itself will be relocated from colonial Bloomsbury to a vast single storey building in a field outside Milton Keynes near an Amazon return centre. Here visitors will be able to learn, meet other people, share ideas, debate and even disagree without the encumbrace of exhibits freighted with the baggage of various "isms".

On entry to the museum, visitors will be treated to a constant background soundtrack of the Sex Pistols hit Pretty Vacant occasionally replaced by Ian Drury's Hit Me with your Rhythm Stick to remind visitors of the various cultures that used to be represented in the museum.

Ian Drury was not available for comment but John Lydon had this to say:

God save the Queen. She ain't no human being.