A European satellite named ERS-2 is expected to crash to earth soon, according to the European Space Agency (ESA).

The ESA has blamed this uncontrolled de-orbiting on:

• President Putin - because he's to blame for everything right now
• Former President Trump - because if it's not Putin it must be Trump
• The Mysterons - because Elon Musk has been nominated for the Nobel Peace prize

President Biden welcomed the crashing satellite with the words: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. I think.

EU spokesperson Ursula Von Richthofen told FNN:

Here in the HQ of the EU, Berlin that is, we are not concerned.

De-orbiting satellites are banned from landing in the EU according to EU befehl, I mean directive, EU-986875764.

We are expecting the ESA to direct it to crash somewhere in post-Brexit Britain where it might do some good and take out a few of those ignorant white-van men who voted to leave the EU.

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