Climate change zealots have pointed to a rash of extreme weather events in the UK as evidence that we are doomed and on course for an extinction event.

Apparently, this summer, the UK will be subject to a wide range of abnormal weather events including:

• sunshine
• rain
• wind
• combinations of all three

A weather expert told FNN:

The weather in the UK is subject to what we experts call "unpredictability".

But now that "the science is settled", we are sure that reducing Co2 emissions will make the weather more predictable as we move steadily towards the next Ice-Age in around 967 milliion years time.

Swedish Lutheran Minister, Greta Thunderberg, has also predicted that the UK will soon be hit by a plague of AI-driven locust drones and Sir David Attenborg has warned that all the polar bears have disappeared from London Zoo, which can't be a coincidence.