In order to better reflect today's modern Britain - an inclusive, diverse multi-cultural society - The Department of Education (DoE) has announced that English history will now begin in 1948, to reflect the year that the Empire Windrush arrived in the UK.

Clearly all history before this momentous event is largely irrelevant in today's "We are all immigrants" British society since this is actually when the true character and ethnic makeup of Britain was really initiated. 

To reflect this revision of history, a special blue plaque will be mounted on a new ground-zero monument at Tilbury docks to celebrate the fact that "Britain Started Here". 

A DoE spokesperson commented:

Today's modern Briton, and especially their children, don't need to know about any history prior to 22 June, 1945 since it's all just colonial nonsense.  

I mean what's the point of learning about stuff that took place before you could buy a chicken-tikka takeaway or Reggae Reggae sauce? Who really cares?

Anyway, under Sharia law, all islamophobic history - which is basically much of English history - will be banned anyway, so we might as well prepare for it now.

Boom-Shacka-Lacka!